Sales Pitches (Uriel and Iba)

Iba was currently following up on a near death experience that was happening right now, a man had just been on his motorbike and spun off it as a car had hit the backside of his bike, leaving him rather smashed on the tarmac. She was pretty sure that if he lived from this he would be in a wheelchair, however Iba, looking at the scene, was certain that he was not going to survive from this.

Sighing softly as she skipped over the blood, and the bits of car parts everywhere, Iba enjoyed the time freeze. It made everything look so trippy, like she had the power to press pause on time. Really it was only more powerful demons who could do this, but she could give it a go she was sure.

Approaching where the guy was pacing around looking awfully confused and upset, Iba wondered about how she should go about this, maybe honesty was the best policy here? After all he was probably going to believe her after seeing his dead body smashed upon the tarmac in front of him.

Gently placing a hand on his shoulder she squeezed to get his attention, smiling softly Iba cooed;

"Hi there, I'm Iba." she whispered softly "I guess by now you're wondering what's going on, this is a near death experience, there is a chance you can be saved but, during that time I'm here to promote our good work."

Giving the man, Mark, a leaflet from her shirt pocket about the benefits of Hell and living there, she wiggled her cat ears. It helped that he was probably going to sin due to her lovely provocative outfit which was a tight white shirt, coloured bra, tight black skirt and little kitten heels.

Uriel cursed a little bit.

He was going to be late!

Of course he was going to be late. He was going to a near death experience and, as was usual for him, he had taken the time to try his best to pick out the best suit that he possibly could. He grimaced though as he travelled, feeling that a demon was already there with the lost soul who could no either die or live.

Either way he had to be convinced to come to Heaven rather than Hell.

Arriving on the scene without a sound, Uriel smirked a little bit as he stepped out from behind one of the frozen people,

"Good work huh?" he taunted the demon with a small smirk, "Well now if that isn't a contradiction of terms for you guys..."

He straightened his tie and shook the bewildered man's hand, subtly taking the Hell leaflet from his other hand with a sleight of hand trick. Grinning a little bit at the demon, Iba, he bowed to both her and Mark,

"Pleasure to meet you both, my name is Uriel." he introduced himself before smirking slightly at Iba, "I haven't seen you before... first time recruiting?"

Mark blurted out,

"What the FUCK is going on?!"

Iba pouted when the angel came onto the scene, he was more experienced she knew it but she wasn't going to let Leopold or her Mistress Nyx down she was going to make sure that this soul went to Hell! They needed all the people that they could get for the war that was coming up. Of course she wasn't going to mention that now that the angel was here.

Placing her hand on her hip Iba pouted again;

"Hey we do good work, sometimes we even get rewards and everything." she stated dismissing the angel with a shrug "So, you should just ignore him Angels have no clue on how to have fun and party."

Seeing that he took the leaflet away from Mark Iba gasped indignantly how dare he! She was here first and everything why could he not just go off and find another soul to send to Heaven if he was so set on it. Uriel was a familiar name though, he was one of the oldest angels and as such was not one that you wanted to mess with.

"You're one of the ancient angels, its strange we have not met before, I do sometimes do recruiting but I've been a busy girl recently." she hummed, folding her arms around her chest.

Sending Mark a reassuring smile Iba squeezed his arm softly;

"Like I said, you are having a near death experience and we are here as representatives from Heaven and Hell to help you decide where you would like to go. The leaflet this guy just took from you has everything you needed to know in it, but, I can assure you that Hell is so much better despite what you hear."

Uriel had to admit that he had gotten a little bit distracted by looking at what the demon was wearing and how it complimented her body. Hey, he was a male and he was straight... how was he supposed to NOT notice her looking so damn fine next to him? He chuckled a little bit and shook his head when she continued her pitch but snorted a little bit at her comment about having fun and partying,

"Oh please! You wouldn't know a good party if it bit that perfectly plump bum of yours!" he teased her with a wink before shaking his head, "Don't worry Mark, our parties last for days they're that amazing."

Seeing that Iba had noticed his sleight of hand, he smirked a little bit and straightened his tie yet again. When she seemed to recognise his name, as did Mark, he grinned a little bit,

"Ah! A fan! Always a pleasure." he joked a little bit before humming, "You must have done... I'm almost constantly recruiting after all."

Mark nodded a little bit at Iba's words, looking like he was beginning to be swayed, before Uriel snorted loudly and got his attention,

"In Hell you have to submit to the rule of a small group of tyrants." he told the man simply before grinning, "But come to heaven and God will be your only true Master."

Iba felt her eyes prickling a little bit with this angels friendly teasing, although it was teasing she put so much effort into her parties and they were always a success so to say she didn't know a good one when she saw it was a little bit annoying to her. Perhaps annoying was not the right word, upsetting? No. Well it wasn't the most welcome of emotions whatever it was.

"Actually I organise parties in Hell, and I'll have you know all of my pool parties have been a success, even Lucifer came, and some angels." she stated firmly "Besides, that's not the point here..."

Rolling her eyes Iba shook her head;

"I'm not a fan, I just have heard of your name because it's part of the job to know all of the names of the angels. If we didn't we wouldn't know who to fight and who to avoid, this will all be part of your training in Hell, depending on what circle you get sent to of course!" Iba smiled brightly.

Shaking her head again Iba waited for Uriel to say his piece, to be honest heaven was not all it was cracked up to be, it sent innocent people down to Hell because they happened to have done something completely by accident. It is the intent behind the action they should look at, not the action itself.

"They are not tyrants!" Iba protested, before coughing slightly in embarrassment "We operate a council system, which is based on power, the most powerful rule it makes sense, its just the same as Heaven only there's three in Hell and one up there."

Uriel could see that he was beginning to upset the demon and to be honest that wasn't his intention... his intention was to win the support of the lost soul. When she said that she organised parties in Hell he was preparing himself to scoff before his eyes widened slightly when she mentioned pool parties. He grinned,

"Ah so you're the genius behind the pool party idea!" he grinned a little bit before glancing at Mark, "I admit her pool parties are pretty awesome. But you can go when you're an angel anyway, I have done before."

Mark raised an eyebrow as Uriel grinned wider,

"If you become a demon I'll give you a little bit of advise." he told Mark honestly with a small smile, "If you recognise the name of the angel... run. Don't try and fight, you'll be cut down in seconds."

Mark jumped a little bit at Iba's loud protest while Uriel just slowly raised an eyebrow, as if asking for her to explain it to him. When she said that her masters were not tyrants he frowned a little bit before shaking his head,

"We're not really here to discuss the politics of our various homes are we?" he suggested before chuckling ever so slightly, "The decision is simple really Mark... Here for the sex appeal."

He gestured to Iba before continuing,

"Or me, with all the assurances that for the rest of eternity you'd be looked after and cared for by god himself!"

Iba nodded her head proudly, she was the person who was behind the pool ideas and they had been very popular if she was honest, however she did not know that this angel had attended and that made her flush with anger. Why did they get to have everything?! Why did they have to be able to do everything good when she was stuck down there in that life and he got to flit about with his beautiful wings...

Raising an eyebrow Iba just decided to be quiet for a little while, she was really beginning to hate this guy. Although she might not be able to kill him and win the fight outright she could give him a run for his money! There he was though, being all holier than thou.

The fact that he just so casually said that it was sex appeal that he would be getting in Hell, and therefore sex appeal was all that she could offer, made Iba's eyes prickle again. How could he be so cruel to her? To say she was just some tart to get him to come downstairs based on the way she was dressed?

"Pft." she smirked "Of course, God's not there right now is he? So he won't be looked after by God, he'll be looked after by pricks like you, who just dismiss demons as mere bits of fluff, a non entity. If that's the path you choose, good luck to you Mark. I hope you make the right decision for yourself."

Iba gave Mark a soft handshake and stepped back, signalling that she was rather done with this conversation, he was fading anyway and would be gone soon.

Uriel could see that Iba was getting more and more upset with him and he had to resist the urge to sigh.

He really hated recruiting people.

Not only did it mean that he had to try and ooze charisma but it also meant that he had to fight against the demon involved with the other side of it. If not physically fight then at least verbally and mentally. It was always draining and... and he hated it. He wasn't a fighter by choice but a fighter by necessity.

He had developed a fearsome reputation during the war because he had to, not because he enjoyed it on any level. And this was a fight and he was being forced by duty and honour to fight to the best of his ability.

He narrowed his eyes slightly before chuckling slightly,

"I can assure you Mark that God is always here." he told the man in a comforting voice, "Even when he does not answer... God is there."

As he waved to the fading Mark, his eyes widened when the soul was engulfed in flames before disappearing,

"Well how about that..." he whispered before turning to Iba. He looked at her hesitantly before slowly extending his hand for her to shake, "I'm sorry about what I said back there... I don't like to be like that. So... congratulations on convincing him, you were very compelling."

Iba shook her head and decided that she needed to calm down otherwise she was going to go on a massive rant and probably start a fight with this angel that would not be productive at all. He just pushed all of her buttons, all of the bad things she thought about herself he had said were true. She often thought that she got into people's good books with her looks, like Lucifer, like Azoth even to a certain degree Nyx herself.

To have it thrown back in her face all she really had was sex appeal was just so...so painful she didn't know how to handle it.

Moving to the side of the road as time began to start again Iba merely looked down at her shoes and tried to make herself seem not as horribly pathetic as she felt right now. Angels sucked. Heaven sucked. God sucked even more!

She saw he had extended his hand and took it in order to be polite, not because she had any wish to take it whatsoever out of any forgiveness.

"Then don't be like that." she stated swiftly "You can promote your side without having to be so goddamn cruel to the person opposite you doing the same job."

Folding her arms back around her chest Iba sighed; "Don't you have somewhere to be?"