Melancholy Processor

Estrella had been torn between seething with anger and wanting to stab her own spark to bits because she was so upset after the party with the Autobots. All the lovely images that she had in her mind of being the center of attention for once, of getting complimented on her lovely appearance and finding someone to connect with were completely shot.

All because those two had to have their time in the sun.

Honest to god, Monite was now partnered with a Prime (or might as well be) and Seraphim had been talking it up all night and dominating the conversation. After Ironhide and Bumblebee had cheered her up slightly she had continued on at the party, but not for much longer.

It didn't seem that her guardians cared all too much about her once they had a few glasses of oil in their systems. Goddamn Monite teaching Prime how to dirty dance on the floor and Seraphim kissing almost every Mech she could once she had a good gallon of oil in her systems.

After that Estrella had stayed away from all of the others at the base, she didn't want to see anyone in particular, and when her guardians had come to find her at her room she had refused to let them inside. They had even gotten Optimus to try and come and coax her out but she didn't much care for him now either, she couldn't believe she had ever crushed on him.

Maybe that was a resentment too? They always stole the guys she liked!

Fuming, Estrella almost put her hand through her berth wall as she punched it so hard with her anger. Sighing she looked back at the shockwave technology she was developing, it took her mind off things for a small while anyway.

Ironhide had been told that Estrella was not seeing anyone at the moment.

She was turning away her older friends and even Optimus had been unable to gain entrance to her exclusive room now that she was in a rather melancholy mood. And while both Monite and Seraphim seemed to have no idea what brought it on, Ironhide and Bumblebee knew almost immediately the reasons why she was against those people in particular.

They hadn't exactly treated her with good friendship at the party after all.

Knocking on the door to her berth room, Ironhide decided to do something that none of the others had thought about doing apparently. After he had knocked on the door he simply walked right on in, the electric locks being disabled for a moment due to a favour being called in. He grinned a little bit as he took one step inside,

"Knock knock!" he called out to her with a bright little grin even as he closed and locked the door as instructed to do by her friends. He smiled a little bit, "Of course those jokes only happen to work when the person actually goes to answer the door..."

He was obviously teasing her before he moved closer to her work bench,

"What have you got here?" he asked with a grin, "Looks like it could really help us with our work and sounds like you're having fun with this. Or at least it's challenging."

Estrella jumped when the door to her room opened as if someone had over-rode the locks. Was it too much to ask to just be left alone in this goddamn place did everyone have to come and bother her when she didn't want to see anyone and had told all the people who had asked that?! Who was it who was coming to irritate her now?!

When she heard Ironhide's voice, Estrella calmed down a little bit seeing that it wasn't someone like Optimus or Monite who had come to talk to her and get her to come out of her room.

"Normally when a person doesn't answer their door it is not an invite for someone to come inside anyway." she murmured as she turned around from working on her project, taking off her magnified optics so that she could see normally while she had a hopefully blissfully short conversation with Ironhide before he left again.

As she saw that he was looking at her work Estrella swooped it all into her drawer and promptly locked it. She didn't like people seeing what she was working on before it was finished if she was honest with herself.

"And why would I want to give it to the Autobots to use?" she asked with a sigh "I intended to use it for personal systems and nothing else...to be honest I've rebuilt it several times over the past few days just to get the mechanisms correct in each detail."

Looking up at Ironhide with her large, rather tired optics she asked; "What do you want Ironhide?"

Ironhide knew that Estrella's faith in both her guardians and the Autobots was shaken, perhaps even damaged. But he knew that it was not beyond repair. She needed someone to help her through this, that was all she needed. There was nothing that had been done that couldn't be fixed (not yet anyway) so it was best to actually start the mending of aches and pains from the emotional stand point.

He smiled a little bit sheepishly,

"Yeah... but you've not been opening your door at all Estrella." he commented, his sheepishness turning to worry quickly as he perched on a desk corner a little bit away from her, "We are worried about you... I'm worried about you."

He blinked a little bit when she immediately swept all of her work into a drawer when he commented on it. So she had secret projects huh? Well there was nothing wrong with that, he had some of his own after all,

"I don't know, it was just a suggestion." he told her with a soft smile before nodding in understanding, "That sounds reasonable enough. You have spent an awful long time on it I see!"

He looked into her sad, tired, optics and couldn't help the soft smile as he stood,

"This."

Moving over to her, Ironhide wrapped her up in a tight little hug, stroking her hair slightly,

"You needed this I think... and you still do."

Estrella thought that the visit from Ironhide was going to be short but it didn't look like he was going to be moving anywhere soon, which, normally when she was like this would have irritated her but now it gave her promise of an idea that he was going to listen to her. Maybe he would be able to help her make sense of what to do with these emotions running around her CPU.

The concept that he was worried about her made her gasp softly and her optics light up a little bit with happiness that he had been thinking of her, all alone, in this room.

"You were worried about me?" she asked softly, rubbing her hand up and down her arm in shyness, unsure of what to say about that "Well...if you had come to speak to me before I might have let you in, I mean...you haven't done anything against me."

Pouting softly even as she spoke, she moved on from talking about her work. Estrella didn't want to share what it was with Ironhide until it was done and he could wait until then to find out what it was and how it worked.

Seeing him standing, Estrella opened her mouth to ask him to stay, that she didn't want him to go, but he wasn't leaving. The sensation of Ironhide wrapping his large, warm arms around her body made Estrella's optics widen in surprise but she loved the sensation of being so warm and so...connected to someone.

As she rested her head against his chassis, Estrella could feel it all coming to a head again and she sniffled, hiding her head so that he might not see how upset she was.

"I just...I'm so angry Ironhide." she cried "I just wanted to have some attention, for one night! And they took it all away, dancing with Optimus like that! Drinking so much and kissing all those Mechs! How could they do that to me? They said they'd let me have my time to shine and I was pushed to the back again. How can I meet someone special to me if they always get to them first?"

Estrella sobbed softly into Ironhide's chassis;

"I had a huge crush on Optimus, I never told anyone but...it angers me that Monite decided to go there first." she explained "She didn't even think about me!"

When she asked if he was worried about her he was more than a little bit annoyed with Seraphim and Monite to see that she was surprised that anyone other than them could be worried about her. And they weren't all that worried about her apparently seeing as Monite was spending all of her time with Optimus and Seraphim was enjoying being a 'bachelorette' or whatever the humans called them,

"Of course I was! Both Bumblebee and I have been worried sick about you... Bumblebee was the one who left your meals by your door every night." he admitted with a small smile, "He would have come with me but... well he lacks the language capability to do what I'm do now. And what I'm doing now is explaining to you... how much you mean to the people around you. How much you mean to me in particular."

He could tell that she expected him to actually leave after that and he found himself appalled that Monite a Seraphim could call themselves her friends when this was what they made her think was normal; that someone would leave after spending the minimum amount of time making sure that she was alright.

As she confessed her just held her, letting her sob out her troubles onto his chest plate as he held her. He squeezed her gently when the sobs were hardest, to show he was here still, and he stroked her back to try and calm her down. When she was done he decided to speak, she had needed to rant like that after all.

Clear her system,

"I know what it's like to be so angry under the surface Estrella, believe me." he admitted before giving her another squeeze, "The fact that they subjected you to this, gave you such internal anger, is an outrage of massive proportions I can tell you now..."

He stroked her cheek gently,

"You deserve better than how they're treating you... so much better."

Estrella blinked softly when she heard just how worried they had both been about her, and she felt rather ashamed that she had been able to put them through something like that. She didn't like the idea that they had been in emotional pain wondering about what was going through her head while she was in this room, refusing to see anyone.

Blushing in embarrassment when she heard that Bumblebee had left her meals outside her door, Estrella had to admit that she had not eaten any of them.

"I'm sorry I made you both worry so..." she whispered, reverently "I truly didn't know that my absence would bring so much unhappiness, I believe people are used to me not being around and so it wouldn't be such a big problem. I am also sorry that...I wasted that food." Estrella blushed and looked away from Ironhide in shame.

As he held her to him, Estrella felt comforted, she felt in an environment that she could finally let out everything that she had been holding in. It was like a great circuit had been shorted and all she could do was tell Ironhide about how angry and upset her Guardians had made her over the years. She looked up to them so much but had been repressed by them in return.

"You...you do?" she asked, her soundwaves hitching slightly as she spoke "My spark aches that the people who raised me could be so selfish, they have had their fun and their time to grow while we were on the new settlement...but now they act like teenage bots again and take my time to grow away from me. Yet they complain I am too shy, too unsociable. How can I win, Ironhide?"

Pressing her cheek into his touch, Estrella let her optics lock with Ironhide's they were swirling blue with deep trouble and emotion, yet the touch of his metal against hers soothed her, and she pressed her lips to his palm;

"I have not known another way to be treated these past few years." she whispered softly, wrapping her arms around Ironhide in return now "I just...wanted to be the Princess for a change, when would I ever have the chance again?"